Pre-Write

Congratulations you've survived High School and decided to give college a chance. I guess I'm the one whose going to welcome you to Stairs and Hills University. Wrong place you think? Nope I have never had a tighter butt in my life. So if you see one of your classes are in Founder's Hall pray you learn the shortcuts my friend or don't be late. If you do need a good work out wait until your class starts in five minutes and see how quick you can make it. Never tried it myself and I sure as hell don't plan too but knock yourself out freshie you never know.

That's not important though I mean first you have to get there. Don't book a plane flight on your way up here you could miss the beautiful scenery of Highway 299. Who wants to get to your college in half the time. Two hour flight to a 12 hour drive sounds so much worse! Unless you want to cough up the money for a ticket you're going to be in my shoes. So you can get car sick and spend the trip sitting in the backseat eating goldfish and drinking water and trying desperately not to puke orange. At least your parents can enjoy the view while your backseat spot is crammed with stuff for your dorm.

Unless your lucky and get a single you're going to get to share a small room with one or more people. Don't worry you'll be good friends and joke about how much you hate each other and how much they stink when they haven't taken a shower in two days. That is what air freshener and febreze is for people! Personally I never go past the two day limit and I load on the deodorant. I mean who has time for that when we need to catch up on all the television shows we've missed over the past couple of months? You can also do your homework which college is famous for. Working on your big paper the night before it's due. At least you get it done!

I could do a better job if I had more experience with college because I don't think saying I've been in college three months is going to gain any respect. Too bad because if I took this class next semester I could tell you all about my month winter break that comes with the happiness of college. Sadly the fact is three months beats your zero expirence makes it a little bit worth it. I have your intentions in mind though so don't worry. You don't have to be that freshman who had there nose stuck to the map on the first day (guilty) or getting the wonderful culture shock on arrival

Unfortunately from the academic side of the picture it's hard. Procrastination foils the best of us and staring at your Beta fish sounds a lot better than writing the paper but it needs to be done. Find a nice place to study and no that doesn't mean in the lobby (especially if they adorn a ping pong table) where people come in and out and it's extremely distracting. Don't worry though one place is the third floor of the library. Dead silent and you have the honor no the PRIVILEGE to study with the bats that live there.

The social scene is always alive especially on the weekend at 3a.m when you hear screaming and see figures running up and down the street. People are up and about during the wee hours of the morning whether you like it or not. A favorite past time of mine is singing "Build me up Buttercup" with my friends a couple minutes before quiet hours are upon us. Not a person who likes to social with other people? No worries! There is nothing like sitting in you dorm watching Sci-fi and knitting a ear flap hat for a friend. Or even dying your hair at 2am, because it's that important to ask everyone in your suite if the color suits you or not.

I've personally heard a lot of opinions about what they call the 'food' here. I mean there is the J which provides enough Half Baked for eternity if you get there before 7pm when they close. Don't worry though! They have the grill opened until 9pm and there is nothing like grilled cheese every Tuesday and Thursday night for three months. Thankfully there is the Cupboard which is open until late at night. If God could reincarnate himself into a store it would be the Cupboard. Need whipped cream? You can get it here! You can even get Scooby-Doo fruit snacks! There is nothing like heating up your frozen dinner and making the place smell like chicken Parmesan and spaghetti.

Something that everyone thinks when they come is that you need to know what your going to do for the rest of your life. Nope, take your time you have a couple of years to decide your fate. If you do want to change your major all you have you do is walk up Mount Sinai, jump up and down on one foot and.... talk to your counselor. You might have to fill a couple papers but it's so simple a caveman can do it! Your counselor is easy to find, mine randomly sent out emails about his choice for 'best hangout.' After I met with him I conveniently stopped getting the emails from him. Coincidence? I think not.

You hear this everywhere but it is a good tip that you should at least consider... join a club. I'm in a club which is also a class and it's so much fun. You meet a large amount of interesting people that you would've never hung out with otherwise... though you would be surprised. You can watch me marching during football season in some field show that was made up the night before. I'm the one with the giant base drum waiting to trip and eat it.

Or you can always take up a hobby if that's more your area. On rainy days when you can't really go outside you can raid Michael's and make sock animals. I made a cat and embroidered his face and dubbed him Carl. If not there is always something you can learn. Someone juggles in the grass area all the time, you can play Frisbee or have a BBQ (that always smells heavenly). Take a walk in the forest and see how many banana slugs you can take pictures of (silly roommate). You can find something to do here even if it's stupid like stomping on bubble wrap from the latest package you got.

Make friends with cars, I know it sounds conceded but it's something you should do. Don't be obvious and ditch them if they don't but keep your eyes out. The dollar store and Safeway aren't two steps away from your dorm. If you can't try the bus because it is free with your I.D. card if you can't find someone with a vechile. The dollar store is great for decoration like wrapping your door with Snoopy wrapping paper and a big white bow all for under four dollars. Safeway is great for those snacks when your hunger pains hit hard. You can get snacks on campus but finding them at the dollar store for a buck is so much more satisfying.

College has it's ups and downs, some are better than others but overall it's a cool place. Not a big fan of walking back to my room after my shower or remembering which dryer is useful for actually drying your clothes but i'll live. At least your free from your parents... but sadly they can't make you dinner and you have to go find it or even microwave it if your that good of a cook. Don't be scared you don't have to know everything about college when you come. You never know, turning all your clothes pink on accident may get you some friends and laughs.